I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize