im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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