Life is so much better after having sex.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
