HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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