oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize