I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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