You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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