Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize