I heard we made out
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
