My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
