So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
