So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
