well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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