Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
