We're facebook friends in real life
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize