Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
