He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
