Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.

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  (917): K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs. http://tfl.nu/lbd0
  Replies (11) Good night (669) Bad night (1543)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
  Replies (14) Good night (6363) Bad night (863)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

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  (817): No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/v4fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5649) Bad night (1192)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted

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  (610): Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/q55a
  Replies (11) Good night (5740) Bad night (2654)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  even the AIR tastes like tequila.

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  (910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (916)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.

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  (206): In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/g8w5
  Replies (7) Good night (981) Bad night (2637)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

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  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1343) Bad night (2455)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.

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  (304): as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now. http://tfl.nu/olha
  Replies (8) Good night (3591) Bad night (1348)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

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  (301): my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook http://tfl.nu/xr9p
  Replies (15) Good night (3077) Bad night (1174)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

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  (248): Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion" http://tfl.nu/821u
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (336)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"

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  (518): I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories" http://tfl.nu/in2x
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (340)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.

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  (812): I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least. http://tfl.nu/mb2n
  Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (455)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron

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  (620): Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron http://tfl.nu/6cz2
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (265)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...

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  (785): Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit... http://tfl.nu/w51i
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (265)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn

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  (201): so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn http://tfl.nu/00rd
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (648)

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