dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY