Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??