So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes