I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner