Are you guys doing anything tonight?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.