8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
