Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
