You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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