Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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