We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
