Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
