You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
