ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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