Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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