I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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