I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
