Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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