i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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