He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
