dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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