Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
