somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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