didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
