Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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