That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
