Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize