ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
