She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
