I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
