Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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