Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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