dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
