you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize