i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
