At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
