the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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