He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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