i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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