I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
