drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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