Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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