I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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