Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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