i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
