all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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