Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
