you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
