My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
