the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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