Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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