Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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