I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
