How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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